I’m going to take a risk today. A risk at alienating some of my readers. A risk at having my comment list turn into hate mail. A risk in sharing a political view. A risk in stimulating change. A risk at maybe helping just one person feel it is safe and acceptable to be who they are in an environment not always known for compassion. Typically, I write about how to build mental toughness and achieve peak performance, but today I’m going deeper. On the brink of several states voting on some crucial legislative bills concerning GLBT marriage equality, the topic of homophobia, not just in sports, but throughout American culture is an issue that is relevant and needs to be addressed.

Obviously, I’m a sports fan. I watched the entire NBA playoffs this year for the shear excitement of watching the drama unfold with the criticism of Lebron and company in Miami. Yet, there had been other dramatic events that caught my eye, as well. Late in the season, Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000 for calling a referee a ‘fag.’ I was actually proud of the NBA for once. I thought it was a stiff penalty, and would hopefully send a message. Kobe was apologetic, of course, and offering him some benefit of the doubt, I bet that he was not considering the GLBT equality movement or theories of homophobia in the heat of that moment. Now, he is working with the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) to better understand the implications of that particular word coming out of his mouth.

Fast forward to the playoffs, and Joakim Noah of the Chicago Bulls gets into a verbal altercation with a fan in Miami and calls him a ‘faggot.’ Forget benefit of the doubt this time. Have NBA stars learned nothing from Kobe’s mistake? Only a $50,000 fine. My pride starts to dwindle.

Skip ahead to the following playoff week, and I’m watching the commercial break when I see Grant Hill in a new tv spot. It starts out like a typical McDonald’s or Nike commercial, when suddenly one of the young actors shouts at the screen, ‘Your moves are gay!’ As quickly as I was astonished that I just heard this, the music screeches to a halt and Grant Hill, his teammate Jared Dudley, and others teens yell, ‘That’s not cool!’ In my mind, I’m thinking, ‘Seriously?’Did Grant Hill just do a PSA against homophobia?’ Pride returned.

There are other stories out there catching my eye too. Sean Avery, one of the toughest hockey players in the NHL, sparked a huge controversy when he filmed an HRC New Yorkers for Marriage Equality ad. Not only that, but Avery said in response to being questioned what he would do if a player were to want to come out as gay in the NHL,  ’I'll stand beside him in the dressing room while he tells his teammates he is gay. Maybe if Sean Avery is there, they would have less of a problem with it.’

Along with Avery, Michael Strahan from the 2008 Super Bowl Champions, New York Giants, starred in one of the HRC ads too. So did Steve Nash from the Phoenix Suns in support of his team’s President and CEO, Rick Welts, who recently came out publically as gay.

I’m hoping that a change is starting to prevail in male sports. A change that will lead to professional male athletes in all types of sports to feel comfortable in admitting to who they are. Below, I am going to share a paper I wrote many years ago in graduate school explaining my theory of homophobia in male sports. I had hoped it would blossom into a doctoral dissertation and full-time area of research, but at the time, it seemed too sensitive of a topic.

Finally, if there are any athletes, coaches, or even corporate executives out there struggling with the decision to come out in your profession, I will give you 3 free consulting sessions to develop a plan incorporating your values, your personal mission, and performance enrichment techniques to help you cope and succeed. I hope to hear from some of you. Visit my contact page or e-mail me at allen.weaver@peakswithinreach.com

Homophobia in Male Sports

In American culture, athletics (particularly the collision sports) have been equated with masculinity. Male athletes are often viewed as heroic suffering physical pain and exhaustion in order to win. Suffering and a ‘win-at-all-cost’ attitude have become symbolic of manliness and have perpetuated the ideology of hegemonic masculinity (Carroll, Griffin, Heywood, & Sabo, 2002; Sabo & Curry, 1998; Wolf-Wendel, Toma, & Morphew, 2001). Hegemonic masculinity is defined as the culturally idealized and acceptable forms of masculine character and behaviors (Connell, 1983). Because masculinity has been socially constructed, there is a historical context in which it must be placed.

Messner (1988) contends that a women’s movement in sport has been a legitimate attempt at achieving equality, formulating identity, and defining body image ideologies. In a dynamic perspective of hegemony, there is resistance presented to the dominant ideology. Hegemony in a general context is the development of norms by a dominant group. However, Messner also points out that although women have made great strides in accomplishing these objectives, they still have not eradicated the masculine hegemonic ideology that has been historically created.

The first crisis of masculinity occurred from the 1890’s through the 1920’s, resulting in a rise in organized sports (Messner, 1988). During this era, there was a fear of social feminization, meaning that men were having a more difficult time being easily identified as the family ‘bread winner.’ In attempts to keep young boys from becoming ‘feminized,’ organized sports became a way for men in this era to instill traditional masculine ideologies. At the same time, however, women were becoming marketing tools for products and services, requiring them to maintain an athletic, yet feminine, appearance.

The second masculinity crisis followed World War II (Messner, 1988). During this era, sports became more of a spectator event rather than something men would actually participate in. Men found that they could connect to feelings of masculinity vicariously through the actions of professional athletes. Soon the male body would become a televised image of strength, virility, and power. However, because of the war, women had become a valuable part of the workforce. The resulting feminist movement had begun to challenge the masculine hegemony. Women began to challenge masculine ideology, but also all of the social structures, i.e. the media, that continue to instill those ideologies. Therefore, men began to feel even more insecure about their masculinity, because fewer of them were participating in organized athletics and women were competitors in the job market.

Heterosexism and Homophobia

Similar to racism, heterosexism is another form of discrimination. More specifically, it is safeguarding heterosexuality by characterizing it as noble and correct, while marginalizing and stigmatizing other sexual identities (Pharr, 1997). Griffin and Genasci (1990) also contend that, ‘heterosexism is the social assumption that heterosexuality is the only acceptable, sanctioned, and normal sexual orientation’ (p. 211), meaning that it is this type of discrimination that leads people to believe that those who identify as ‘straight’ are normal, natural, and ultimately, superior. Thus gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans-sexual, and trans-gendered (GLBT) individuals are labeled as immoral, inferior, and abnormal. Homophobia, therefore, has its origins connected to these heterosexist beliefs and assumptions.

Griffin and Genasci (1990) add to the definition of homophobia so that it also includes the fear of, ‘behavior that is perceived to be outside the boundaries of traditional gender role expectations’ (p. 211). Yet, from another perspective, Rotella and Murray (1991) claim that homophobia can also be used in reference to those people who fear being labeled gay/lesbian themselves, as well as to those GLBT individuals who internalize the negative and normalized stereotypes held by society of their sexuality. It is the construction and ultimate embodiment of the false stereotypes and misconceptions of the GLBT community that makes homophobia an ‘irrational’ resistance to acceptance of minority subcultures (Anderson, 2002; Lehne, 1992).

The Existence of Homophobia in Men’s Sport

Homophobia has been socially constructed for two primary reasons: 1) the conflict between masculinity and the homoerotic nature of male sport; and 2) male insecurities about their masculinity and powerfulness in a hegemonic society. In examining the first reason, it is necessary to refer to Pronger (1999):

 ’Men’s sport allows men and boys to exclude women and girls from their all-male environments, permits them to play with each other’s bodies, to surround themselves with naked men in the showers and locker rooms, to enjoy that all-male contact, without suffering the vilification that usually comes from the open acknowledgment and pursuit of masculine erotic contact, the stigma of ‘being homosexual’ ‘ (p. 374).

Pronger’s statement suggests that men have adopted homophobic ideologies as a mechanism to justify and defend their desires to bond and surround themselves with other men in a physical and sometimes vulnerable environment. By upholding and reinforcing homophobic beliefs, men are avoiding any speculation from others, or from within themselves, that they are engaging in what could otherwise been seen as homoerotic behaviors, e.g. touching other men, admiring another man’s body, and sharing and expressing emotions/feelings.

Messner (1992) argues that men’s relationships are shallow, because of their learned homophobia, conditioned lacking of emotional expression, and accepted roles of competitive ‘success objects.’ Yet, in sport, men can enjoy the company of men. They can be ‘close’ without worrying about the maintenance of their masculine identities. However, Messner would argue that it is the existence of homophobia that keeps them from becoming what a heterosexist society would see as ‘too close.’

The second primary reason explaining the construction of homophobia in male sport concerns heterosexual male insecurities about masculinity and power. In fear that they may discover their own same-sex attractions, men often develop a hyper-masculine identity; that is, engaging in ‘machismo’ behaviors to clearly demonstrate their non-attraction to other men (Basow & Johnson, 2000; Tomsen & Mason, 2001; Wolf-Wendel et al, 2001). This development of a hyper-masculine identity is a sign of male insecurity, and from a psychoanalytic point of view, may be presenting itself as a behavioral defense mechanism to deny the potentiality of feeling attracted to other men.

Although, another plausible explanation for the existence of heterosexual male insecurity concerning gay athletes, may be that gay men have been stigmatized as being feminine, and the reality that gay athletes can be just as strong and competitive as straight men threatens the boundaries of masculinity, as well as challenging the socially constructed differences among men and women (Anderson, 2002).  Therefore, homophobia also functions as a device to provide resistance to the truth that men can be gay, while also being ‘masculine’ and athletic at the same time.  

Passing and Irony

Acting as ‘straight’ is a survival technique for many men involved in traditional athletics. It is a way to protect their masculine image as well as their careers, friendships, and physical safety. This idea of acting is referred to as ‘passing’ in the sociological literature (Pronger, 1990). Specifically, passing is the act of, in this context, a gay man hiding and denying his sexual identity and pretending to be straight in traditional heterosexual environments. Pronger argues that homosexuality is fluid and, ‘is enhanced by the fact that gay men can and often do pass as straight men.’  He continues by adding that, ‘to avoid suffering in potentially homophobic settings like athletic teams and locker rooms, gay men learn to pass as straight (Pronger, 1990).’ The act of passing can usually be accomplished successfully because gay men have grown up in the same heterosexist world as other men, and they simply imitate the masculine hegemonic behaviors they have observed growing up.

However, Pronger also contends that this idea of passing leads to an ironic sensibility in gay men. As mentioned previously, gay men while growing up are socialized within heterosexual contexts, yet, ‘the budding gay man is aware of his himself as an outsider, an observer (Pronger, 1990).’ It is this awareness that evokes a sense of irony. More specifically, according to Pronger:

 ’Gay irony is a way of thinking, communicating, and being that emerges out of the experience of being gay in a society in which people tend to believe that everyone is straight. It is a sensibility that is essentially fluid both through the lives of individuals and throughout society’ (p. 149).

Apparently, people can be easily classified into one of two categories, and in reality, the roles can be quite fluid, instead of constant. People can move between or actually exist in at least two of the groupings, perhaps more. The idea that someone can exist in dual roles was established by W.B. Dubois (1989), who argued that African Americans, in particular, experience a ‘double consciousness.’ They live in a racist culture where they are unfortunately underprivileged, but are allowed to enter the world of those who are privileged to seek manual employment.

Marx made the same type of argument in terms of the capitalist class and the working class relationship. The workers have an opportunity to view the privileges that wealth can attain because it can be easily seen in terms of material accumulation, but yet they are forced to live their own lives in a world of desolation. Fittingly, there are several examples of how ‘double consciousness’ or irony exist between masculinity and sexuality for gay athletes.

One example of gay irony is the locker room. Historically, men’s and women’s locker rooms have been segregated with the underlying reason being that it would be difficult to police the sexual desires that would arise between the two sexes. However, as Pronger (1990) asserts, ‘the fact that men may find it sexually stimulating to be in a locker room full of other naked male athletes is either ignored or sublimated through aggressive, homophobic, and sexist humor’ (p. 149). Thus, in order to ‘pass’ as straight, gay athletes often have to participate in the heterosexist and homophobic banter that is intended to hurt those whom they truly identify with.

 The ‘Damned if You Don’t, Damned if You Do’ Paradox: Not Coming Out as a Form of Oppression and as Self-Survival

 There are negative consequences for gay athletes who feel that they must disguise their sexual orientation, i.e., ‘Damned if You Don’t,’ as well as the potential negative consequences of gay athletes who openly announce their sexual orientation (‘Damned if You Do’).

Damned if You Don’t

By hiding their sexual identities, remaining ‘in the closet,’ so to speak, gay athletes are continuing and reinforcing the oppressive hegemonic masculinity that exists in the sport culture, and in a sense, projecting that external oppression onto them. Lehne (1992) contends that, ‘as long as most [gays] conceal their sexual preference, homophobia is easily maintained, because heterosexuals are rarely aware of [gays] who do not reflect their stereotypes of homosexuality’ (p. 382). However, concealing one’s sexual identity serves another purpose, where in lies the general paradox. Male athletes self-identifying as gay, fear ‘coming out’ and challenging the oppressive hegemonic masculinity for concerns of personal safety. Thus they choose to remain ‘in the closet’ as a form of self-survival. 

Yet, in continuing with the Damned if You Don’t  perspective, gay athletes who continue to hide their sexual identities may also suffer in their athletic performance, which, as noted earlier, is a hegemonic indicator of masculinity. This image accounts as a primary source of homophobia and heterosexism.

Rotella and Murray (1991) offer several negative consequences on performance that closeted gay athletes could experience. First, is the concern that closeted gay athletes undermine their performances for the fear of being publicly ‘outed,’ meaning that they intentionally avoid receiving public attention for their athletic performances, because they fear that someone, who they may have had an anonymous gay relationship with, will recognize them and announce the private matter to various sources, e.g. the media.

Secondly, there is a fear of being beaten up by teammates that leads to an increased concentration on ‘passing,’ which takes away from concentration on performance (Rotella & Murray, 1991). As discussed previously, the act of passing as straight in the sport environment can be quite exhausting, and since so many homoerotic incidences present themselves in men’s sports, gay athletes have to place more of a mental focus on not revealing any signs of their sexuality, and therefore, that extra mental focus is taken away from the sport itself.

Yet another negative effect on performance relates to the issue of team cohesiveness. By ‘passing’ as straight, gay male athletes are subject to all of the heterosexist comments and homophobic banter that exist in male sport culture. Overhearing all of the hatred towards the gay community may cause a closeted gay athlete to question their connectedness to the team, as well as to question any friendships they may have with teammates since much of their friendship is probably based on deception.

Damned if You Do

It would appear that hiding one’s sexual identity is causing more harm than good, a Damned if You Don’t  perspective. However, there is still the issue of self-survival, which leads to the Damned if You Do  perspective. As seen in the media daily, hatred and violent images are still projected by straight men onto the gay community. Some anti-gay men may feel that in order to continue the domination of masculine ideologies, openly gay athletes, especially those in the collision sports, should be physically harmed. Additionally, those same ideologies could also affect an open gay athlete’s potential for maintaining an athletic career with an organization, whether it is as a player or as a coach/executive in the future.

In an in-depth interview study of openly gay athletes, Anderson (2002) found that most of the study’s participants were pleased with their coming out experiences. However, the experience of one particular participant is a fitting example of the Damned if You Do perspective. Having difficulty in dealing with his sexuality, a football player from Pennsylvania attempted suicide and was consequently ‘outed’ to his teammates. His teammates then ostracized and harassed him, and even threatened physical violence if he were to return to football or any other athletic team. So, from this perspective it would seem logical to gay athletes, if they value their athletic careers, to conceal their sexual identities, thus continuing within the paradox.

And the Cycle Continues

This concealing, however, as described earlier (Lehne, 1992), actually contributes to the strengthening of the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ ideology. The ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy is, ‘a compromise that allows gay athletes to reveal their true sexual orientation (at least once) but allows heterosexual athletes to pretend that nothing has changed—thus denying the gay athletes’ true identity’ (Anderson, 2002, p. 870). 

Wolf-Wendel et al. (2001) conducted five qualitative case studies of NCAA Division 1 institutions investigating how athletic teams respond to different forms of diversity. Through analysis of interview data, the researchers found that student-athletes and coaches embraced a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell policy’ and that there was hostility towards to gay men and lesbians on nearly all teams interviewed. A common theme throughout the data collected was that gay men or lesbians could not be productive team members due to the potential reactions of coaches or teammates if someone were to ‘come out’.

So, to bring this paradoxical cycle to a close, it also appears that even if a gay athlete chose not to conceal their sexual orientation, there may be no acknowledgement of the ‘coming out’ whatsoever, as well as inclinations by other male athletes to even deny that the announcement ever was made, which would actually still be continuing hegemonic masculinity.

Defining the Problem

The onus of eradicating homophobia in men’s sport must not  be placed upon the shoulders of gay athletes. Are there societal benefits that can occur as a result of gay athletes coming out during their sports careers? Certainly, there are, with examples of such benefits being: the refuting of strict definitions of masculinity; allowing the gay athlete to finally formulate an authentic self-identity; expanding the comfort zones of heterosexual male athletes; providing new cultural experiences, as well as refuting stereotypes held by heterosexual male athletes, and encouraging other closeted athletes to come out, as well.

Indeed, as illustrated above, there would be clear benefits from closeted gay athletes coming out during their athletic careers, but in order for that to take place, the benefits must be recognized by the dominant majority, and it is the majority whom needs to bring about the change. And while it might seem that eradicating homophobia and heterosexism from sport (a structure synonymous with masculinity) is impossible, there are, in fact, things that can be done to eliminate the problem. Again, the problem is not that GLBT members exist in the sport world, but instead, the problem is the irrational and un-inclusive environment that has been created.

References

Anderson, E. (2002). Openly gay athletes: Contesting hegemonic masculinity in a homophobic environment. Gender & Society, 16, 860-877.

Basow, S.A. & Johnson, K. (2000). Predictors of homophobia in female college students. Sex Roles: A Journal of Research, 42, 391-404.

Carroll, H., Griffin, J., Heywood, L., & Sabo, D. (2002) Why homophobia is a men’s and women’s issue. (Position Paper) NY: Women’s Sports Foundation.

Connell, R.W. (1983). Which way is up? Essays on sex, class, and culture. Boston: Allen and Unwin.

Dubois, W.E.B. (1989). The souls of black folk. . New York: Bantam.

Griffin, P. & Genasci, J. (1990). Addressing homophobia in physical education. In M.A.

Messner & D. F. Sabo (Eds.), Sport, men, and the gender order (pp. 211-221). Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.

Lehne, Gregory K. (1992). Homophobia among men: Supporting and defining the male role. In M. S. Kimmel & M. A. Messner (Eds.), Men’s Lives (2^nd ed., pp. 381-394). New York: Macmillan Publishing Company.

Messner, Michael A. (1988). Sports and male domination: The female athlete as contested ideological terrain. Sociology of Sport Journal, 5, 197-211.

Messner, Michael A. (1992). Power at play: Sports and the problem of masculinity. Boston: Beacon Press.

Pharr, S. (1997). Homophobia: A weapon of sexism. Berkeley, CA: Chardon Press.

Pronger, B. (1990). Gay jocks: A phenomenology of gay men in athletics. In M.A. Messner & D. F. Sabo (Eds.), Sport, men, and the gender order: Critical feminist perspectives (pp. 141-152). Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics. 

Pronger, B. (1999). Outta my endzone: Sport and territorial anus. Journal of Sport & Social Issues, 23, 373-389.

Rotella, R. J. and Murray, M. M. (1991). Homophobia, the world of sports, and sport psychology consulting. The Sport Psychologist, 5, 355-364.

Sabo, D. F. & Curry J. S. (1998). Prometheus unbound: Constructions ofmasculinity in sports media. In L. A. Wenner (Ed.), MediaSport (pp. 202-220). New York: Routledge.

Tomsen, S. & Mason, G. (2001). Engendering homophobia: Violence, sexuality, and gender conformity. Journal of Sociology, 37, 257-273.

Wolf Wendel, L., Toma, J. D., & Morphew, C. C.. (2001). How much difference is too much difference? Perceptions of gay men and lesbians in intercollegiate athletics. Journal of College Student Development, 42, 465-479.

If you’ve been watching the NBA playoffs this year, you have most likely heard a few announcers talk about certain players being “in the zone.” It’s a common phrase actually describing an optimal psychological state known as flow. This optimal psychological state was discovered by the great positive psychologist, Mihály Csíkszentmihályi.

From an outsider perspective, much like those NBA announcers watching Derrick Rose the last couple of weeks, flow seems to be when a performer makes what they do look easy and fun with no sign of nerves, erratic behavior, or mental fatigue. Flow, however, actually involves several key factors and is much more rare than you would probably be led to believe. Having said that, I am going to provide you a list of dimensions that characterize the flow state, then I’m going to describe what it will take for you to “be in the zone” more often.

The 10 Dimensions of Flow

1. Realistic & Achievable Goals

I list this factor first, because it is the most important. As someone who coaches others to achieve peak performance, goal setting is of extreme value to me. Check out one of my older posts, The End of The Weak, to learn more about setting SMART goals that align with your personal vision and values.

2. Balance between Challenge & Skill

The balance is when you have the requisite skill set for whatever activity you are engaging in, but the activity has a level of difficulty that doesn’t make you feel hopeless and frustrated. Conversely, the activity also isn’t too easy making you feel bored or apathetic.

3. Sense of Control

This is the feeling of owning your destiny. It’s like being the guy, or gal, who wants the ball at the end of the game because you know in your heart that you can and will sink the winning shot.

4. Merging of Action & Awareness

You do without thinking. The merge is when your performance appears to be happening naturally and instinctively, and yet you are completely aware of what’s happening around you.

5. Unambiguous Feedback

There is absolutely no question that you are experiencing a peak performance. You clearly see and feel instantaneous results.

6. Loss of Self-Consciousness

There is no feeling of others’ perceptions or sense of being judged. It’s like no one is there to watch even if thousands of eyes are all locked on you.

7. Focused Concentration

There are zero distracting thoughts entering your mind. You block out all of the negatives and have a very narrow focus on the task at hand.

8. Time Transformation

When you are fully engaged, time may feel like it’s flying by in a matter of seconds. On the other hand, time transformation could also mean that you are immersed in a very bustling, fast-paced environment, but everything seems to be in slow motion.

9. Autotelic Experience

You’re doing whatever you’re doing because you love it. It’s not about the results, awards, accolades, or acknowledgment from others.

10. Total Immersion

I add this to list as the 10th dimension, because it compliments Realistic and Achievable Goals, and serves as the other slice of bread that holds the other dimensions of flow together. Being totally immersed is when you bring every single ounce of yourself to the task and leave it all on the field, so to speak.

Tips for Achieving Flow

1. Don’t think of the 10 dimensions as a checklist.

There’s a reason why flow happens more rarely than other psychological states related to performance. A lot of things have to align. You can achieve flow even if not all dimensions are present though. I do believe that if you align the activities you engage in with your personal values and a meaningful vision, you can be someone who finds the flow state more frequently than others.

2. Find the true balance

Honestly assess where your skill level is in relation to whatever activity it is you choose to participate in. Having a realistic perspective on your current and potential abilities will help you take on the challenges that will stretch you developmentally, but also contribute to setting yourself up for success.

3. Let yourself go

When it is time to perform, just perform. Leave the anxiety, the tension, the self-consciousness, the doubt, and fear of the unknown at the door. Trust that the effort you’ve put into developing yourself mentally, physically, and/or emotionally has become innate to who you are as a performer and a person. If you’re asking yourself, how the heck do I do that, revisit my posts on Routines and Positive Thinking.

Good luck to all of you in finding your flow! Remember that even if you fall short of flow, the ultimate optimal experience, you’re still likely to have a potentially personal best peak performance.

]]> http://peakswithinreach.com/go-with-the-flow/feed/ 0 http://peakswithinreach.com/talking-to-yourself/ http://peakswithinreach.com/talking-to-yourself/#comments Sun, 13 Feb 2011 22:39:57 +0000 Allen http://peakswithinreach.com/?p=196

As I was running my marathon the other week, I became incredibly lonely out on the course. Most of the hype around the race in Phoenix is for the half-marathon runners. I’d estimate that about 75% of the people who sign up for the race run the half-marathon, and therefore, it has it’s own separate course. Those of us left running the full 26.2 miles had several more stretches of almost pure isolation…no crowds, no cheers, no bands. Just me and my thoughts.

At mile 22, my I-phone, that I was using for musical motivation and GPS tracking keeping my Facebook friends informed of my progress, lost its battery power and shut down. As soon as the music died, my legs at the very same instance stopped running. Up to that point, the songs that I had strategically placed on my playlist were providing my words of inspiration and motivation. When the words suddenly went away, I psychologically lost some of my drive that had gotten me through the first 22 miles pretty easily.

Fortunately, I was prepared. I knew of the power that self-talk provides performers. Self-talk is exactly what it sounds to be–you talk to yourself. Of course, there are many different ways in which all of us do this. Everyone engages in self-talk. You probably do it several times a day and don’t even realize it. What’s important to remember though, is that the internal conversation you have with yourself greatly affects your mood, your behaviors, and ultimately how those interact with your performance.

I’m encouraging you to talk to yourself more often, but keep these principles in mind:

S.P.A.R.C.

Stop the bad thoughts

Yes, we all talk smack to ourselves. We are often our own worst enemies and criticize ourselves more harshly than anyone else ever would. It’s natural, but it can be extremely distracting and detrimental to achieving your performance goals, so nipping it in the bud quickly is key to success. The easiest way to stop the negative self-talk is to simply be aware of it happening and tell yourself, “Stop!” The trigger to cutting off the negative talk, whether verbal, visual, or physical, can be whatever you want, but it has to be something you can commit to and is effective with minimal distraction to the activity you’re engaged in.

Predict your future positively

When what you think will happen actually does happen, it’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you tell yourself over and over again what the future will hold, you will more than likely place yourself in situations that will enable that prediction to come true. If you go to a party and tell yourself all day leading up to the party that it will be awful, then you’ll tend to look for all of the things at the party that could be classified as awful and ignore what is potentially making the party fun. Therefore, when having an internal dialogue with yourself about an upcoming performance, make predictions about the outcome you really want.

Affirm yourself

Positive affirmations got a bad rap years ago when Saturday Night Live mocked them in a funny skit with the character, Stuart Smiley. From the outside looking in, if found telling yourself in a mirror how great you are, it probably would look ridiculous, but the truth is that positive affirmations work. You can’t have a coach with you 24/7, and you need to believe in yourself that you are capable of achieving your goals. A positive affirmation is simply reminding yourself of what your capabilities are. Hearing yourself say it out-loud enhances your own belief that you can achieve peak performance.

Reframe

Understand that sometimes bad things are going to happen. Realities cannot be changed, but your perception of them and how you react are in your control. Reframing is when you find the positives in bad experiences. Take pre-performance nerves for example. Your stomach feels uneasy. Your palms are sweaty. Your heart feels like it will jump out of your chest. Some people when they experience this say to themselves, “How can I possibly go out there like this? I’m so anxious!” That’s no way to set yourself up for a good performance. Someone who wants to enrich their performance would look at those physiological reactions and say, “Man, I’m so excited and ready for this, my body wants to be out there right now!”

Counter

Sometimes our perceptions of realities are wrong though. Sometimes our perceptions are full of self-doubt and low self-efficacy in our abilities. Countering is a technique to use when you find yourself telling yourself that you can’t do something. When you are going into a big performance event that you’ve been preparing for and find yourself saying, “Oh, I’m not good enough to actually do this,” you need to counter that by stopping the thought and debunk the negative statement with a positive truth. A good follow-up would be, “That’s not true. I’ve had awesome rehearsals for this moment, and all of my hours of preparation have set me up for success!”

I used all of the techniques above in the last 4.2 miles of my marathon race. I had no bigger fan than me when I really needed one. As I saw other people walking over to the course’s edge and contemplating quitting, I was chatting myself away, reminding myself of how I have done this before and how a new personal best was right in front of me. I fell just short of a new personal best, but I convinced myself to push for it, and it felt good knowing that I was my own best friend that day rather than an enemy.

Good luck to you and your internal dialogue. I’d love to hear of your experiences in using the the SPARC techniques above to ignite your performances!

Tomorrow is marathon day. I’m looking forward the 26.2 mile challenge once again. I’ve been physically training for over 3 months, but this week required more of a different type of training–mental preparation. Spending months of training on my body would be worthless, if I didn’t take the time prepare my mind for the emotions and stress of the big day.

Positive & Realistic Imagery

Visualizing your upcoming performance is an important mental training technique that is often overlooked. Positive and realistic imagery within your mind can have more powerful effects than a technologically produced simulation. I used imagery in several different ways to prepare for my marathon.

First, I used positive imagery during all of my distance runs. Getting outside and hitting the pavement four times a week eventually starts to lose its excitement. Quite honestly, the running can get boring and sometimes no amount of shuffling songs on your I-pod seems to help. To combat the sense of my training runs feeling like a chore or a task, I would paint a picture in mind of what marathon day would look like. I would imagine the crowd within the starting corrals at the beginning, recognizing that look of anticipation and adrenaline on all of the runners’ faces. I would also imagine the spectators lined up along the race course cheering on their friends, family, and complete strangers. Then, I’d start to see the faces of my friends and supporters. I would imagine the shouts and the high-fives. Often, as I was doing this imagery in mind, I’d physically cover five to six miles and not even realize it.

The second type of imagery I used was a little less puppies and rainbows, but realistic of what race day would actually feel like. This method relates back to my last post on routines. As I started to approach my 15-20 mile runs in training, I would try to create and simulate race day as much as possible. From the time I would wake up to what I wore to how I ran to how I took breaks were all completed as the way I intended doing them on marathon day. The imagery component was that I would start those runs imagining myself running the actual race from the very beginning. I’d see myself starting with my pace group, visualizing our leader in front of me running with the pace flag. I would also see myself running into those “walls” of doubt and physical exhaustion. Rather than fight the onset of those feelings, I would intentionally allow doubt and fatigue to set in, then I would revert back to positive imagery and practice how I was going to overcome it.

Another method of realistic imagery I used was during a very specific training run that I incorporated into my routine every couple of weeks–the 6.2 mile finish. Mile 20 is where I usually hit the emotional and physical “wall.” In training, you never actually run the full 26.2 miles, because you’d be doing more physical damage than good. My plan for training for the last leg of the race though has been to sit for 20-30 minutes before my run, and imagine the first 20 miles in my mind. I would visualize all of the things I mentioned previously, and allow my body to feel the fatigue, hunger, and stress that 20 miles puts on your body. Then, with those feelings in mind, I would go out and actually run 6.2 miles imagining the other runners and fans along the course. By adding this routine to my training, I feel less nervous than I did in three previous marathons, and I’m on pace to set a new personal best!

I.M.A.G.E.

I know that for most people, running a marathon may not be on your radar. Here are my tips for applying imagery to your performance routines.

Isolate yourself from outside distractions

Find a quiet place where you can really delve into your mind and allow yourself to fully visualize and sense the sights, sounds, emotions, and physicality of the event you are preparing for.

Make imagery a training priority

Effective imagery takes practice. It’s a skill like any other, and you need to stay disciplined to work at it for a period of time before you start to feel its effectiveness.

Allow the negative to enter

Let’s be honest, negative feelings are a part of human nature. Nobody can block out   all negative thoughts and feelings all of the time. Your imagery sessions are the perfect time to allow those moments of frustration and self-doubt creep and see yourself raise up and overcome them.

Get real

Just like negative thoughts we may have, other performance conditions are not always going to be perfect. What if your event is outside and the weather is cold and rainy? How are you going to react? Visualize different types of realistic scenarios and imagine your success. If ideal conditions don’t exist during your event, you’ll still be confident and have the upperhand!

Emotional is good

If you’re doing imagery the right way, you will find yourself having the same emotions that would normally have during your performance. Pay attention to these emotions, determine if they’re helpful or harmful, and visualize either using them for strength or fighting through them.

Please share your stories of how imagery has worked for you, or feel free to ask me questions about using imagery for enriching your performance.

If you want to track me in the race tomorrow, follow me on FaceBook or Twitter!

Alarm clock goes off, and I get up. My running clothes, socks, shoes, are already laid out. I take care of the usual morning basics…bathroom, brush the teeth, etc. I have my oatmeal, bananas, and smoothie. Next, I mix my sports drink and load up my hydration belt. Lace up my shoes, pack a few bucks and my house key, turn on my Ipod, and I’m out the door. This is my Saturday morning long run routine.

To athletes, or any other type of performer, routines are a special thing. Routines provide a sense of structure and stability. Engaging in a performance routine provides us a focus that allows us to get mentally turned on for the activity we’re about to take on. Sure, some routines are based in superstition. There are athletes who always wear the exact same pair of socks and eat the same meals because they once had a great game on the day they wore and ate those exact items. While I would never discourage anyone from believing in their superstitions, I feel that we are better served by routines grounded in mental preparation.

So in the spirit of the new year, here are some tips for incorporating routines to your area of performance or to help stick to those resolutions.

Just remember PREP!

1. Put it on paper

Just like I recommend for goal-setting, you should write down your routines on paper. It serves as a checklist. Again, this helps eliminate the worry and stress over details that take away from the focus you should be putting into your actual activity. Soon, you’ll have the checklist memorized, but you’ll also find new areas of life where you will want to implement some other routines.

2. Refine to simplify

You don’t want a routine that takes hours to complete. Look for ways to simplify your routine so that it will be easier to remember and doesn’t become cumbersome to where you actually want to spend your energy–your performance.

3. Eliminate distractions

Whether you’re training for a marathon or traveling the country for major sales meetings, the last thing you want to be distracted by are the pesky details. Where are my shoes? What I am going to eat? These are issues you don’t want to waste energy on and stress over, and exactly how routines can help. If you incorporate these details into your pre-performance routines, you won’t lose your focus on the important task.

4. Prepare for the worst

I think this is one very important step that many folks tend to overlook. I’m a firm believer that optimism is a powerful thing, but sometimes reality doesn’t interact well with our best intentions.What if your routine gets interrupted? What if the airline loses the luggage that has your marathon shoes or that sales presentation you have to give? Every routine should have a good back up plan.

Good luck in whatever routines you develop this year. Let me know how it goes.

Have a great 2011!

So I’ve been blogging a lot about the importance of connecting your behaviors to your values, but a question that some are brave enough to ask is, “How do I know what my values are?”

I say that some are brave enough to ask, because there always seems to be an assumption that you should just know what you value with little to no thought involved. Often people will just rattle off those things that they think they should value…family, friendships, religion, kindness, etc. I’m not saying that these examples are not sincere if they are on your list, but sometimes we feel we need to include certain values based on others’ judgments of right and wrong.

To understand what you truly value, you have to look at what motivates you. Hopefully, you will find values that are positive to you and others in your life. Maybe you won’t like what you discover though. Perhaps you will find some disconnects that exist in your life between what you value, what you might want to value, and what your behaviors are.

Motivation is what drives us. When you find yourself motivated to engage in a certain activity or behavior, the source of that motivation stems from something deeper. Motivation takes shape in two forms: extrinsic and intrinsic. Both are acceptable forms of motivation, and as I describe the two types in more detail, you will see that it still all comes back to values.

Extrinsic Motivation

This type of motivation exists when you are driven by something outside of yourself. Most often, extrinsic motivators are things that are physical or tangible.

The obvious example for extrinsic motivation is money. It’s common in many businesses or professional sports to offer cash bonuses for reaching certain milestones. For those who value money, that is an effective method of motivation. Awards, trophies, recognition, and prizes are examples. However, despite these being tangible objects, the motivation for some to want them is still rooted in their personal values. Maybe it’s greed, maybe it’s wealth or achievement. Maybe it’s the attention that comes with attaining something. It could be materialism. Or, it could be that you or your family is depending on the outcome of what you’re doing to survive. Whatever the value is, own it as your value, because it’s what’s driving you.

Intrinsic Motivation

This type of motivation exists from the pure satisfaction of doing something for the sake of doing it.

When are you motivated from within, the things that you are working towards become a part of you. Your behaviors and goals become an extension of who you are as a person. Maybe you’re motivated to take a challenging class because you are fascinated by the topic, not because you want to brag to your buddies or because you want a job in that field…you’re motivated by the enjoyment of learning. Maybe you put in hours and hours on the basketball court working on your jump shot, not because you’re hoping to join LeBron and company in Miami, but because you want to master the skill. That’s intrinsic motivation.

If you haven’t figured out by reading my previous posts, I’m probably a little more biased to finding intrinsic motivation for working towards your vision and goals. In my opinion, while they can be effective in the short-term, extrinsic motivators can disappear at a moment’s notice. I think we all learned in the last couple of years, that money, bonuses, and such are not constant. Intrinsic motivators, on the other hand, you can control. I will concentrate some of my future blog articles on how you can better find the internal motivation within you.

Stories and Theories on Motivation

Despite being biased towards intrinsic motivation for aligning your vision, values, and goals, I want to share two different videos with you. I’ll be honest, the first one is a tear-jerker! It’s an example of a man who is extrinsically motivated, but that motivation is definitely based on his values of family and love in the most sincerest sense. And, even though the video is my example of extrinsic motivation in someone else, it helped me reconnect with my intrinsic motivation for running marathons…because I can.

The second video is a unique animated version of Dan Pink’s Ted Talk on Intrinsic Motivation. He uses scientific research to show us that everything we had thought about extrinsic motivators in the workplace might be wrong. I’m fascinated by it! Enjoy, and let me know what you think.

I’m often asked why I don’t give much focus to clients’ weaknesses during consulting sessions. Here’s my simple answer: Why devote so much energy to an area of your life that is a source of negativity? I feel that too often we get caught up in placing our personal spotlight on what we think is wrong with us, and when we travel down that path we tend to forget about what makes us special. More often than not, the reason we tend to not be good at certain things is because they do not connect with our personal values. Unfortunately though, we sometimes forget about our own values and try to improve upon what someone else wants us to value.

After identifying values during a consulting session, I like to spend the majority of my time with clients exploring their strengths and how to capitalize on them. Am I saying that you should ignore those areas for improvement that arise in your life? Certainly not, but I don’t think they should be first on your priority list. Think of it this way. When we have “weak” muscles, what do we do? We go to the gym, and we strength train!

Many may not agree with my strength-focused philosophy, and that’s okay. That’s why I’m providing some tips below on how you can soar with you strengths to improve upon those areas for improvement.

How to Strength Train

1. Identify Your Top 5 Strengths

Make a list of what you are known for. What makes you special? What are the unique qualities, skills, and personality traits you have that make people rely on you? Don’t be bashful or modest either. You’re not being arrogant by simply stating what you are good at.

2. List Your Areas for Improvement

I intentionally avoid the word weakness here. Weakness implies that it somewhat static and can’t be changed, whereas an area for improvement implies that you can actually develop and grow. The most important part for you to consider in this phase is that you should be focusing on those disconnects between your values and your behaviors. The most important part of that is to make sure you’re focusing on YOUR values.

3. Match a Strength to Your Areas for Improvement

This is the “strength training” piece. How can you maximize one of your strengths in order to improve on something else? Perhaps you have a strength in establishing personal relationships, you value learning, and your area for improvement is to develop a particular skill that will take you to the next level of performance. You can maximize your strength of connecting well with others to find a mentor who has the skill you want to learn as one of their identified strengths. You’ll be more likely to improve in this area, because you will make a strong personal bond with your mentor and will value learning the skill from him or her.

4. Create a Plan of Action

Now that you have matched your strengths to your areas of improvement, it’s time to commit to a plan of action. My philosophy here is that you “ink it, not just think it.” You will hold yourself accountable to improving if you write it down. I mentioned goal setting in one of my previous posts, The Marathon Metaphor, and when establishing goals, I always recommend using the S.M.A.R.T. technique.

Specific:

• What exactly do you want to improve?

Measurable:

• How will you know you improved?

Actionable:

• How will you do it?

Realistic:

• Is it actually achievable?

Timely:

• When is your deadline to see improvement?

On a final note, remember that enriching your performance is about staying true to your vision and what you value. Consistently ask yourself, “is this area for improvement in alignment with my values and who I want to be?” If it isn’t, then you will need decide if it is worth the energy and commitment that it will take to improve.

Thanks reading, and I look forward to hearing from you!

]]> http://peakswithinreach.com/the-end-of-the-weak/feed/ 0 http://peakswithinreach.com/love-what-you-do/ http://peakswithinreach.com/love-what-you-do/#comments Tue, 17 Aug 2010 05:31:47 +0000 Allen http://peakswithinreach.com/?p=121

In recent years, I’ve had a new value come into my life…simplicity. I’ve realized that I don’t like things to be overcomplicated. I like finding the most simplistic solution when problem solving. I enjoy calling things as they are, because with candor there’s little room for confusion. I like living a more minimal lifestyle. I have a penchant for removing clutter — physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

In my search to simplify my life and become more “zen,” I found a really cool blog called ZenHabits. Let me first say, that I do not know the writer of the blog. I’m honestly a fan of it because I like what Leo Babauta, the site owner, writes about, and the reason I am talking about ZenHabits here is because Leo’s latest post is a perfect compliment to my philosophy of a vision. Similar to my belief that your goals and milestones in life have to be connected to your values, strengths, and the feelings you enjoy, Leo wrote a piece about being making sure that you actually enjoy the habits you’re trying to engage in. I’m going to paste Leo’s most recent post below so you can enjoy it for yourself.

The Importance of Enjoying the Habit

by Leo Babauta

I’ve written a lot about habits — it’s in the title, after all — and after all these years, and after all the questions that people have asked about forming habits, there’s one thing that seems more important than anything else.

It’s simply this: enjoy the habit.

That might seem obvious to some of you, but you’d be surprised how many people try to force themselves to do things they don’t enjoy. They try to instill “discipline” because they think it’ll make them a better person or give them a better life, but what kind of life is it if you force yourself to do things you hate all the time?

And here’s the thing: if you try to make a habit of something you don’t like doing, you’re almost sure to fail. I know, because I’ve tried it many times. If I find myself saying, “I hate this, but I can do it!” then it’s an uphill battle, and one I almost always lose. Because after a week or two of doing this, you’ll lose enthusiasm. You’ll run out of the incredible energy required to form a new habit, and then miss the habit one day, and another day, and soon it’s over.

But look at the opposite scenario — you do something you love doing. Well, how hard is it to motivate yourself to do this? You look forward to it. You are excited about it. When you actually do the habit, you’re happy, and your overall experience is positive. That’s a habit that is much more likely to stick.

I’ve done dozens of experiments in creating habits in my own life, and I’ve helped hundreds if not thousands of others form habits, and it’s a common theme — when the person doesn’t enjoy the new habit, it fails, and when they do, it has a high degree of success.

Sure, there are other factors — how consistent you are, whether you have a trigger that’s already anchored into your regular routine, whether you have social accountability, etc. But the most important factor, by far, is loving the habit.

The things we don’t like

I’ll acknowledge there are times we have to do things we don’t like. That’s a necessary part of life. But why choose such a thing to become a daily habit? If that’s what you’re doing, you should take a long hard look at whether it’s really necessary, and if so, whether you can possibly make changes to your life so that you don’t need to do this activity on such a regular basis. I’ve done this many times, and though the change in my life is sometimes time-consuming, the result is always worth it.

But what about kicking bad habits? Isn’t that hard and unenjoyable? Sure, of course. I kicked the smoking habit (almost 5 years ago), and it was difficult. Agonizing. Fortunately, I figured out that I had to put enjoyable habits in place of the smoking, and I actually looked forward to them — things like running to relieve stress, eating healthy foods, writing, stuff like that. I love those activities, and it made the whole process much easier.

How to love the habit

This how-to section will seem too obvious to some, but it seems necessary to me. How do you go about enjoying the habit? Two ways:

1. Choose a habit you already love. This is the easy way. If you love reading, or drinking tea, or journaling, or taking walks in the park, choose something like that. Want to get active? Choose a sport you love playing, or an outdoor activity that gives you joy. Want to be more productive? Choose a work activity you love doing as your first task each day.

Or:

2. Focus on the enjoyable aspects. If you don’t already love the habit, learn to love it. Not by reprogramming your mind to love something you hate, but by finding things about the habit you do enjoy. For example, when I started running, it was hard. I was a recent smoker, so my lungs were crap, and my legs were weak, and I’d get tired fast. But there were things I enjoyed too — getting outside, the fresh air, moving and feeling my heart beating, the beauty of nature, the good feeling after I was done. So I focused on these things, and it worked. And then eventually the running got easier and I loved everything about the activity. This kind of thing can be done with almost anything — look hard for the good aspects, the things you enjoy. If you can’t find anything, you’ve chosen the wrong habit.

In the end, discipline doesn’t work. You can’t use discipline to form a habit you hate, because what exactly do you do when you don’t feel motivated to do the habit? You find something about it to get you going, and that’s thinking about something enjoyable — the enjoyable end result, for example, or an enjoyable reward, or how good you’ll feel telling others you did it. There are many ways to motivate yourself with something enjoyable, but no ways to use the nebulous concept of “discipline” to do something you hate.

Love the habit, and it will stick around longer.

I just made up my mind to run my fourth marathon. I’ll start training in September for the P.F. Chang’s Rock and Roll Arizona Marathon. It will still be pretty hot here in Scottsdale, so I will definitely be studying up on staying hydrated. I didn’t think I would run another one after I came in under my goal time in the Music City Marathon a couple of years ago. Yet, I find myself having that itch again, so here we go! It all comes back to engaging in activities that provide those feelings you like to have.

Fueling Up during NYC Marathon

My last post was about my thoughts and philosophy on having a vision centered around feelings rather than arbitrary, non-meaningful accomplishments. I would say that running a marathon, or any type of endurance event, is a great way to metaphorically practice the vision philosophy I’d laid out for you. For me, the marathon presents an opportunity to feel challenged over a long period of time (not just in the race itself, but also throughout the months of training leading up to the race). I get a lot of satisfaction out of knowing that I can endure. I can endure the early morning training. I can endure the physical pain. I can endure the doubt. I can endure the solitude.

The marathon is really a metaphor for life…a long distance race that is sometimes a slow climb up hill, sometimes a speedy sprint down hill, and sometimes steady and flat. Some times, it feels like everything is in perfect rhythm, and other times you feel like you’re hitting a wall. There will be points when your loved ones are there showering you with support, but there will be points when it’s just you, alone. You have to do things you don’t enjoy. You have to prepare to achieve your goals. You will see humanity within strangers. Some people will try to cut you off and jostle for a better position. You will laugh. You will scream. You will cheer. You will cry from pain. You will cry from joy.

The Vision and Goals Relationship

Yes, I will set a goal for my marathon finish time. As I said in my previous post, I do believe in goals and identifying milestone achievements for your life. My philosophy for a vision is all about the bigger picture. The vision is what will guide you in establishing your milestones and the goals you’ll need to meet in order to get there. Goals provide you a structure for how you can focus on specific activities that provide those feelings you like having.

So what exactly is a milestone? Well, running a marathon is a perfect example. It’s a huge accomplishment, and for me it provides a lot of the feelings I enjoy having. It aligns with my needs for autonomy, being internally challenged, preparing strategically, and achievement. Milestones are those large-scale moments in life where you strike a balance between the feelings you like to have, your values, and your strengths. Milestones are the memory-markers in our minds. They are not an everyday occurrence. A milestone a triumphant feat for most people, because it’s difficult to strike that perfect balance I mentioned before. The problem for most people though, is that they make a list of milestones they think they want to achieve without identifying their personal vision, strengths, or values. So, they either don’t achieve a milestone and feel like a failure, or they do achieve a milestone and feel empty…the outcome is anti-climatic. For others, who achieve a milestone but didn’t plan for it, they often attribute it to luck. But to me, luck is putting yourself in a position where those key elements of feelings, strength, and values have an opportunity to align.

Goals are the smaller activities and challenges to set for yourself which allow you to resonate with your vision in route to your milestones. Goals provide that structure that we all crave for in our lives. Goals can be short-term or long-term. But once again, there has to be that alignment. The goals you set for yourself need to be smaller moments of connecting to the feelings within your vision, incorporate your strengths, and agree with what you value. Going to back to my marathon example, I will set goal for an overall marathon finish time which will be a time range based on what I know I’m capable of running. As a novice runner, setting a goal that is down to the exact minute can be self-defeating. Unless, you’re shooting for a larger milestone like qualifying for Boston, the Olympic Trials, etc., then just setting out to finish the damn thing is okay! I’ll also set goals for the amount of miles I want to run each week during training. This will allow to be creative in how I strategically plan my routines, without beating myself up if I miss a run here or there on a certain day.

Much like vision, I’m devoting a considerable chunk of my book to the different types of goals, how to write a goal statement, and how to map your goals together. The book writing process, by the way, is another great metaphor for creating a vision and goal setting, but I’ll save that for another post.

Keep up with me on Twitter so you can hear more about my training, and hopefully you’ll send words of encouragement along the way! Also, PWR will soon be on Facebook too! So, keep your eye open for that announcement.

I have a fondness for architecture. Mostly, I’m into the mid-century modern stuff. I’m fascinated with the simplicity of the aesthetic look, yet there is an element of functionality that usually exists in the mid-century style too. What amazes me most about architecture, of any style, is that it all begins from an image within someone’s mind, and the architect puts that image to paper to start making it a reality.

Mid-Century Style

Just like building a functional but nice to look a home, I believe that having a vision is essential to achieving peak performance. If you don’t know what you are setting out to do and can’t see what success looks like, then your journey may never feel complete. If you lack purpose, then what’s the point? Vision is where a journey in performance enrichment all begins!

A vision starts with knowing who you are, where you’re currently at, where you want to go, and why you want to go there. Knowing who you are requires some serious introspection. This step has a huge impact on creating a vision. If there is a disconnect between who you are as a person and the vision you’re establishing for yourself, then you will struggle to achieve anything. If you do end up achieving small milestones despite the disconnect, you probably won’t feel much satisfaction. Ah, but there’s a twist. If you build your vision based on who you are, you’ll be more likely to feel satisfaction all throughout your journey, even during the trialing times and possible failures. You’ll find joy in the process.

So what does a vision look like? I like to think of a vision as a statement that embodies how I want to ultimately feel. Many people think of a vision with a very specific and tangible destination in mind. I want to win a championship. I want to have the highest sales for the year. I want four kids. But those are only accomplishments, and if you choose those as your vision, you will feel like you have failed if they don’t come to be a reality. Try not to think of the extrinsic rewards as what actually drives us. What drives us is feelings.

It is a dream of mine to own my own business. My personal vision involves feeling and experiencing creativity, autonomy, altruism and a sense of value to others. These are the feelings that guide me. When I experience these feelings, I am happy. As long as I experience that particular set of feelings, what I’m actually doing isn’t as important. With these feelings guiding me as my vision, it doesn’t limit my dream to one particular type of business. If I don’t experience those feelings in the work I’m doing, then I ask myself if I’m doing the right kind of work. If you follow a vision based on how you like to feel and one that is encompassing of the person you are and who you want to be, then you will achieve a perspective that places no boundaries on the countless number of milestones you can attain in life.

I realize this is pretty heavy stuff to blog about. It might even seem a little abstract to think of a vision in this way. I believe in goals, outcomes, and achievements just like the rest of our modern society, but I view it differently than most. Our current culture of goal setting and success standards set most of us up for failure, yet we continually go through the same process over and over again. The irony is that most millionaires made their money by doing work they were passionate about. They did work that allowed them to experience the feelings they liked to have. The money they made was a by-product of pursuing their passions.

From a similar perspective, just last week, it was scientifically proven in the debate over what came first, the chicken or the egg, that it was indeed the chicken! It makes perfect sense to me. If applied logically to my theory, a chicken has a brain and a brain can experience happiness. The chicken probably experienced happiness from laying the egg, therefore the egg came secondarily as a result of the chicken pursuing a feeling it liked having. I think the discovery last week involved a little more biology than that, but hopefully you get my point.

Chicken or Egg Mystery Cracked

The whole premise of the book I’m writing centers around your vision for who you want to be. The other stuff is in there too–how to write short-term and long-term goals, mapping the key milestones you’d like to achieve, but all of that will be based on the vision I will help you realize for yourself. I’m hoping to have it completed before the end of year. Just in time for when many are writing resolutions that they’ll fail to adhere to. Till then, start paying attention to the feelings you like to have. Be aware of the situations you find yourself in when you’re having those feelings. And finally, keep following this blog!